Matchmaking has been common tradition for centuries in Asian culture. There are two types of marriage, love marriage and arranged marriage. Arranged marriage divides into betrothal and matchmaking marriage. Betrothal usually for politics reasons or for family matters. Matchmaking is more subtle because it gives you choice and time to adapt your partner. It can come into love.
In Japan, matchmaking tradition called ‘miai’ or ’omiai’. Miai is occasion where the candidates of matchmaking and both families come into a place to get to know each other. In Korea this … They will introduce the couple and hope they will fall in love and get married. The candidates usually picked by their social status. The common criteria of participants are level of education, income, occupation, physical attractiveness, religion, social standing, and hobbies. The women will consider ‘three H’ or height, high salary, and high education. These criteria called ‘iegara’.
In matchmaking the both families will consider family bloodline or ‘ketto’. This purpose is to prevent their generation contaminated by hereditary illness like epilepsy, neurosis, or mental illness by the soon-to-be bride or groom.
In this matchmaking process, matchmaker is used. Japanese name of matchmaker is ‘Nakodo’. Nakodo main duty is organizing the miai. Organizing miai includes introducing the candidates to each other and also become a liaison for the two families. The nakodo acts as moderator between two parties to avoid the different arguments and direct confrontation between two families. Last one but this is not happen in common (hopefully) is become a mediator when a marital dispute happened and plan a divorce.
The miai held by parents when they saw their son or daughter did not show the sign in seeking partner when they already in eligible age to marry. This marriageable age ranged between 22 to 30 years and called ‘tekireiki’. Here the parents will ask nakodo or third party who have connection or candidate for get in miai.
Before they start miai, the nakodo will bring the potential candidate pictures and resume. The resume consist name, age, health, education, occupation and marital status of all members of the candidate’s family. This resume called ‘rirekisho’. After the both families reviewed and studied the candidate, they will ask the matchmaker to investigate the candidate. This to prevent one of them tricked. Some even hire a detective agency called Kooshinjo to investigate their candidate. After they agreed with the participant background they will hold the miai.
If you want to refuse your miai, you can do this after third meeting. Here is when the result from both sides revealed. If the participants agree to marry, they will hold wedding ceremony called ‘miai kekkon’. Before that ‘yuino’ or betrothal ceremony will hold by groom’s family. If you refuse the miai, you should consider the not too straightforward. This is to prevent humiliation of the rejected candidate and to keep their reputation in front of their family. This refusal called ‘kotowari’. That was a review about the matchmaking processes. Please let me know what you think by leaving a response.